The Be Connection

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It is important to find time to do with your kid(s),  it is more important to be with your kid(s). Every child wants to be seen and heard; Look at me,  Daddy look at me and the father take a moment to see what is going on and then the father fills the empty space with “That’s nice” and in that moment neither the father or child is fully engaged in the moment.

Back up this senerio to the moment of Daddy look at me and the father takes a moment to connect with eye(s) contact and to be fully present the father sees his child’s glistening joy, sees their actions and sees how proud they are of themself.  Being filled with their father’s undivided attention the child comes alive brighter then before. The father  smiles and says “I see you are really good at that and I am proud of you and what you do”.

In the first scenario the father is offering a comment without much connection. The second scenario the father is being fully present and in being present the father is offering a terrific gift to the child and himself.

My challenge to you is to be fully present with your Kid(s), by being so you will give them and yourself a big gift.

Create holiday traditions that work for you

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I love all that makes up this time of year. Still, as a parent outside of marriage I’ve sometimes felt out of place when bombarded with images of what is traditional. Everywhere I look I’m hit with pictures of children frolicking in the snow, big families laughing around a huge meal or couples exchanging gifts in front of the fireplace.

But what about those people who aren’t included

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Giving Thanks

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It’s that time of year again to take inventory of what we’re thankful for. The older I get the more I realize that celebrating blessings is something we ought to do every day. The following are a few that are at the forefront for me this holiday season:

I’m thankful for my family – the love and support we’ve shared with one another, but also for

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Experiement shows benefits of switching roles

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I’ve been following a series of blog entries on Slate.com by a married couple who decided to switch roles for a few weeks. He’s an editor at Slate, she’s an at-home mom who does freelance writing. They have two young children.

This type of stunt is always good for readership (it certainly caught my attention), but typically sheds little light on the subject of parenting roles. Nevertheless, the experiment (if it could be called that) is fascinating in part because the two participants have been so candid about their experiences and impressions.

The dad had a lot of trouble adjusting to the home world,

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Kids need both parents

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I make no apologies for being a shared parenting advocate. As a family therapist, I’ve understood for years that kids need both parents. But in 2003, the clinical benefits that are achieved for children in shared parenting and the negative outcomes that often result when a parent is under involved became even more meaningful to me when my son was born.

Yet with all the research and understanding,

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Dads present and accounted for at school

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Last night was the Ice Cream Social at my sons’ elementary school. While many parents also attended the flag raising on the first day of school, the social is traditionally the first time parents have a chance to greet each other and welcome new faces after the long summer break.

We had a huge turnout of families enjoying the ice cream, popcorn, face painting, DJ and giant inflatables. I was stationed at the latter all evening, where I spent most of my time patrolling to prevent little vandals from turning

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