Chris Edwards

An original member of Partnership for Dads, Chris is a passionate advocate for involved fathering since before his first child was born in 1996. He has researched and instituted rituals in family life for more than 15 years. Chris has tirelessly pursued the evolving wisdom of the father-daughter relationship since his daughter was born in 1999. He is also a meteorologist for WXYZ Channel 7 News.

An Open Letter to Young Dads and Dads-to-Be

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As I write this, our first-born is just back home from his first year of college and our youngest is soon to finish her junior year of high school. A window will close soon for us. That window through which we enjoy hours and hours physically together most days, molding each other. That window closure is the natural way of things; it truly is the way it’s meant to be as they become their own people. Though this dad finds that bittersweet, it’s much easier to face knowing I have no big regrets.

That’s not to say I didn’t make mistakes; I made tons of them, and continue to very regularly. But I don’t look back and say “I wish I’d made more effort to be a part of it all.” I was intentional, from well before they were born, about being as much a part of their childhood as humanly possible. For all the miscues in the past and future, getting that one right has made all the difference for them, and for me.

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The Man in the Father

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Fathering Is
Unconditional Masculine Love
Masculine is Power & Play
Power Is Authority Over Your Self
Play Is Putting Power Into Action
Drawing from the Four Wells,
Leading . . .
So the Children
Can Learn
To Become
Authors of their Lives

The Man in the Father: The Fullest Potential of the Man for the Father of the Child

The July/August, 2010 issue of The Atlantic Monthly questioned “Are Father’s Necessary?” concluding they are not. Really?

Frustrated? Feel like your potential as a father is under utilized? Unrecognized? Invalidated? Perhaps even ridiculed? Overshadowed by the importance and emphasis on mothering? Feel like your gifts, knowledge, skills, capabilities and powerfulness are held back? Diminished? Lack coherence and effectiveness?

You’re in the right place. Fathering is critical to the welfare, safety, health and happiness of their children. The man in the father is about potency in all of its beauty, grandeur, generativeness, and service to the family, neighborhood, community, nation and planet.

I’ve yet to meet a child who does not need his/her father in his fullest and greatest potential to love, protect, teach, guide, lead, and bless. The “Man In The Father” is the fullest expression of the man he was born to become and the father he is meant to be.

“You can’t even imagine how important you are to your daughter,” says Chris Edwards

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With the 11th Fathers Conference getting close now, any father with at least one daughter 10 years old or under should take a deep breath and feel the exhilaration of how much he means to his daughter(s), and will for the rest of her life.  It can be scary to think about how much influence you can have on her, both positive and not so positive.  But real fathers don’t run from something that can be scary…they see the joy in conquering fear and the unimaginable payoff in fathering our daughters with conscious, intentional and loving actions.

So, are you ready for a quick little quiz? 

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“Boys are men in the making” the “Boy Whisperer” says

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All theories aside, a simple truth – a basic fact – frames everything:  boys are men in the making. Anyway you cut it, the facts are the facts. Patriarchy may be dead, but right now, the ‘boy code” (Real Boys:  Rescuing Our Boys from the Myths of Boyhood Pollack, 1999) rules the roost rushing the boys along the river into “guy code” (Guyland:  The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men Kimmel, 2009) [my view is they do not become men] and over the falls into the still pool of male unhappiness (I Don’t Want to Talk About It:  Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and The Irritable Male Syndrome:  Understanding the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression Diamond, 2005).  The boys deserve a better shot at manhood. We can give it to them. Collectively, we can “kick some serious butt” and shatter the boy code. You game?

“A father’s value is Way more than the money he provides: the “Dragon Tamer” says

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So, my friend Brett Stephenson, author of the outstanding book, From Boys to Men (Park Street Press, 2006), writes:  “More and more in my reading, I come across research that seems too ridiculous to be true. In Raising Cain:  Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, for example, the authors point toward a number of studies that reflect the importance of men in a relationship, both as a spouse and as father. The fact that we even have to research whether fathers  have a purpose and value is one of the saddest commentaries on our culture that I can imagine. It’s as though the underlying belief in our country is that fathers are expendable, except for the money they provide. As a man, and a father, I find this most insulting [an understatement to me -TB]. Is it any wonder so many men don’t recognize and fulfill their true responsibilities as fathers? Have we really digressed as cultural parents so far that we have to prove via empirical research that fathers indeed do have day-t0-day value in the emotional upbringing of their children?”

Kudos to Brett! My view . . . it’s worse than that. What do you think?

When I come to the game, I bring my balls. Bring yours too.

“They’re trying to develop into young men” the “Dragon Tamer” says:

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The great secret about teenage boys, the one that simply confounds and screws up the grown ups (Dads included) is they’re trying to develop into young men. I kid you not! Superficially, defies all observable sense. That’s the kicker:  there’s magic and mystery going on here and when/if we don’t lead the parade right . . . poof! It all goes up in smoke or down in s..thole. Ancient African Proverb:  “If you do not initiate the boys, they will burn the village down.” Hey, ever watch the film or read the book The Fight Club? Haven’t met a teenage boy who doesn’t love or like that movie and cannot explain why. Check it out!
Looking forward to meeting with you all. Bring your gauchos. Were going to rock!

“It’s all about play and strength” the Boy Whisperer says

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People ask me all the time “what is it with the boys?” How do you makes sense of them? I say, “two words sum up boys:  strength and play.” They all want to be strong and they all want to play. What an adventure! It’s joining in the “game” that trips up the grown ups – including the Dads.

Looking forward to meeting with all of you!

The “Boy Whisperer”