Blogging

An Open Letter to Young Dads and Dads-to-Be

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As I write this, our first-born is just back home from his first year of college and our youngest is soon to finish her junior year of high school. A window will close soon for us. That window through which we enjoy hours and hours physically together most days, molding each other. That window closure is the natural way of things; it truly is the way it’s meant to be as they become their own people. Though this dad finds that bittersweet, it’s much easier to face knowing I have no big regrets.

That’s not to say I didn’t make mistakes; I made tons of them, and continue to very regularly. But I don’t look back and say “I wish I’d made more effort to be a part of it all.” I was intentional, from well before they were born, about being as much a part of their childhood as humanly possible. For all the miscues in the past and future, getting that one right has made all the difference for them, and for me.

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President Obama and Bryan Cranston Gives Us REAL Dad Talk

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Barack Obama has become increasingly reflective as his term as President winds down. On the impact of his father and mother on his life and his role as a father to his own daughters, it’s clear this man knows what a father is. The President and Academy Award winning actor Bryan Cranston sit down in the Oval Office with the New York Times and discuss parenting in this must read article.  Check it out at http://nyti.ms/23u9qlk.

New Hollywood Trend & the “End of Men”

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A couple of years ago, author Hannah Rosin sparked a firestorm when she wrote an article in the Atlantic Monthly called “The End of Men” where she proclaimed that the “age of men” has all but run its course  and women are taking over.  In her article, she noted that the educational tables have already flipped and in the next decade two out of three college graduates will be women.   As a result, women are landing many of the primo jobs and gaining power in our society (at the expense of men).

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Kids need both parents

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I make no apologies for being a shared parenting advocate. As a family therapist, I’ve understood for years that kids need both parents. But in 2003, the clinical benefits that are achieved for children in shared parenting and the negative outcomes that often result when a parent is under involved became even more meaningful to me when my son was born.

Yet with all the research and understanding,

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Dads present and accounted for at school

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Last night was the Ice Cream Social at my sons’ elementary school. While many parents also attended the flag raising on the first day of school, the social is traditionally the first time parents have a chance to greet each other and welcome new faces after the long summer break.

We had a huge turnout of families enjoying the ice cream, popcorn, face painting, DJ and giant inflatables. I was stationed at the latter all evening, where I spent most of my time patrolling to prevent little vandals from turning

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Teaching good sportsmanship starts at home

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One of my favorite things about autumn is football. I love the game with a passion that might be more than it should be at my age, but then again I suppose that depends on who’s setting the bar.

A few friends got together this past Saturday to cheer on our favorite college teams (Go Blue!), but when a commercial about sportsmanship aired I was left with some reservations about the traditional trash talking that had begun. The commercial starts out with a group of kids coming together to play a game, but before they take the field each of them give commentary of their dad’s comments during a recent football game. Each child exclaims how their dad,

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Study Confirms Importance of Inviting Dads Too

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This week I read about a new study in the Journal of Marriage and Family examining the effects of focusing social services programs on mothers as opposed to parents in general. Researchers at the University of California Berkeley found that (news flash!) such programs end up excluding fathers, which turns out to be bad for children.

The study, funded by the California Department of Social Services Office of Child Abuse Prevention, compared father-only programs to general parenting programs and to a control group. The main findings:

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